<center>
We are the Willing
Led By The Unknowing
Doing The Impossible
For The Ungrateful
We Have Now
Done So Much
For So Long
For So Many
With So Little
We Can Now Do Anything
With Nothing At AllI wish I would've met you
Now it's a little late
What you could've taught me
I could've saved some face
They think that your early ending
Was all wrong
For the most part they're right
But look how they all got strong
That's why I say hey man nice shot
What a good shot man
A man
Has gun
Hey man
Have fun
Nice shot
Now that the smokes gone
And the air is all clear
Those who were right there
Got a new kind of fear
You'd fight and you were right
But they were just to strong
They'd stick it in your face
And let you smell what they consider wrong
That's why I say hey man nice, nice shot
What a good shot man
A man
Has gun
Hey man
Have fun
Nice shot
I wish I would've met you
I wish I would've met you
I'd say
Nice shot*FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSH!*
*FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSH*
*FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSH!*
*FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSH*
*FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSH!*</center>
Tex: TCW FRICTION live from the home of three foot beers, Montreal, Quebec!!
Cain: To start things off, it looks like we're heading backstage!
The camera cuts backstage and the huge, face-painted form of the Titanium Insomniac suddenly rounds the corner of a corridor. His face is impassive, and he carries his trademark cane as well as the Bleeder Title draped over one shoulder.
Tex: The Insomniac is not booked into a match tonight - the word backstage is that, after Apeirophobia, he's become disillusioned with Infinity.
Banter: Don't be ridiculous!
Cain: Well, I don't see a ring on his finger...
Banter: Jesus, will you get your mind off sex for one minute?
Cain: What?
Tex: Uh...anyway...it looks like he's on his way out to the ring. Maybe we'll hear his side of the story after his defeat at the hands of Darkness, Misfit and the man who recently joined Infinity, the Accidental Genocide?
"Hey, going somewhere, champ?" a voice asks from the shadows.
The Sleepless One turns slowly, his eyebrows raised, and fixes his gaze on a shape lurking in the darkness. "Possibly. What's it to you?"
"There's a lot of pressure on your shoulders right now, huh?"
"Excuse me?"
"You and Hardy are the only ones with belts in your little gang - aren't you worried you might slip up and lose it?"
The Insomniac smirks, "Lose it? I think not...why don't you step out from behind the curtain and..."
His words are cut off suddenly as, behind him, JE leaps out from a locker room door and smashes TI over the head with a steel chair.
Tex: Oh my God! It's a surprise attack!
The figure in the shadows resolves itself as Kermit, who has a baseball bat in his hand. The Bleeder Title tumbles across the floor to be picked up by a referee who suddenly steps into view.
Cain: Wait a minute...I don't think this is just a random beatdown...
Banter: Huh? What the hell is going on?
Kermit and JE continue to double-team TI, battering him down with their weapons.
Tex: The Bleeder Title rules state that any time during a show that the champion is bleeding, the title will change hands if he's pinned! It looks like the LBA plan to liberate a title from Infinity in revenge for Hardy's theft of the Aftershock Belt!
TI manages to fight his way up to his feet, slamming Kermit into the wall and causing plaster to rain down with the impact. The pinstriped mobster doubles over in pain as TI elbows JE in the gut and throws pushes him away. With a roar, he hefts his cane and nails JE with it, busting him open.
Banter: See, that's how Infinity do it!
Tex: This has gotten pretty brutal pretty fast!
TI advances on JE, but Kermit has now recovered and assaults him again. TI turns around, but Kermit is one step ahead and smashes him over the head with his baseball bat, opening an ugly cut on the Bleeder Champion's forehead. He immediately goes down and Kermit hauls JE to his feet and throws him down on TI.
Cain: JE is pinning TI!
Kermit grabs the Insomniac's legs, preventing him from standing as their mercenary referee begins to make the count...
One...
Two...
Three!!!
Banter: Hey! Come on!
Tex: JE just became the new Bleeder Champion! This is insane!
JE struggles to his feet and dabs at the blood on his forehead as Kermit supports him with one arm and hands him the title he has just won.
Cain: This is incredible! JE lost his Aftershock Title last week, but it looks like he's just managed to win a replacemen...
The words die in Isaiah Cain's mouth as a shout is heard from the opposite end of the corridor and a figure wearing a dark mask and seated in a wheelchair rolls into view. "Stop them!"
TI struggles upright, but he quickly ducks his head as two feminine shapes bounce into view, flipping down the corridor and bouncing off the walls. Kermit and JE turn around just a second too late as Yu and Ai somersault up to them and aim twin kicks at the heads of the LBA. JE is sent reeling, as Kermit reaches for his bat again. Ai grabs him by the lapels and hurls him at the wall, sending Kermit's referee fleeing for cover.
Tex: Shadow's bodyguards have joined this fight! They're scheduled to take part in the showcase battle royal with the LBA later tonight!
Cain: Well it looks like we're going to get a bit of a preview!
Kermit hefts the bat and takes a swing at Ai, but she ducks, and the bat meets wall, showering everyone with plaster again.
JE is dealing with Yu, desperately trying to fend her off as she claws at him with long, painted nails. He finally drives a knee into her gut and sends her flying over his head with a monkey flip.
Banter: Can he do that to a girl?
Tex: I think it's a little late to worry about misogyny, Banter...
JE stands up shakily, clutching the Bleeder Championship to himself, but Ai cuts him off with a swift martial arts kick to the stomach and then a palm strike that sends him flying backwards to land bodily on the floor.
Cain: Yu and Ai have evened the odds here, standing up for their employer's stable-mate.
Kermit lays his hands on Ai, but she flips away and he gives chase a few feet before a somersault kick sends him reeling. Meanwhile, Yu gets to her feet and gestures down the corridor. Referee William Freeman jogs into view, looking as shifty as ever.
Banter: Hey, it's Free Willy! He'll sort this mess out!
Yu goes to pin JE, but suddenly the referee hired by Kermit rushes back and lifts Free Willy up, preventing him from making the pin.
Tex: I guess there's some argument about who's supposed to be officiating this impromptu match...
Free Willy and the other referee continue to brawl as Yu and Ai look on, bemused, and eventually Free Willy pushes his aggressor away from him and then clocks him across the brow, opening up an ugly cut. The referee stumbles backwards and lands on top of JE and, with an evil grin, Free Willy counts the cover...
One...
Two...
Three!!!
Banter: What the hell?
Cain: I think Free Willy just put his rival in the firing line! We have another new Bleeder Champion...I...uh...I'm not sure of his name...
Yu takes advantage of the situation, rolling the referee off JE then quickly pinning him...
One...
Two...
Three!!!
Tex: Another title change?!
Yu jumps up and claps her hands, jumping up and down with Ai as they celebrate like the Japanese schoolgirls they so resemble. JE tries to crawl up to his feet but Yu and Ai position themselves, one in front and one behind, lining up the Eye of the Tiger. Suddenly, a bellow from the other end of the corridor stops everyone in their tracks and the camera swings ‘round. A hulking shape appears and then charges and, before anyone can react, Drakus is among them, hurling bodies left and right.
Cain: It's Drakus! He's another participant in the battle royal later on!
Banter: You think he wants the Bleeder Title too?
Tex: It looks like he might - it's one of the most prestigious titles in pro. wrestling today.
Drakus lifts Yu into the air, but Ai comes to her sister's rescue and bounces off the opposite wall, digging a heel into Drakus's face and sending him back against the wall. Yu takes a hard tumble from the height to which she was lifted and lands in a heap on the floor. Immediately, Kermit is on the scene with his bat again and takes a swing at her, catching her across the face and busting her open.
Tex: Ooooh...it's never easy to see a woman contend for the Bleeder Championship...
She falls backwards, unconscious, and Kermit hooks her leg. Free Willy looks on, unsure of what to do.
Cain: I guess Free Willy is a little confused - Shadow won't be paying him to help out the other guys.
The second referee, now wearing a crimson mask, stands up and kicks Free Willy between the legs, causing him to double-over in agony, before making the count for Kermit...
One...
Two...
Drakus breaks it up! He lifts Kermit high into the air and throws him down the corridor, but then looks stunned. The camera swings ‘round a second time to show Kermit not on the floor, but in the arms of Cage, who deposits him on the floor none-too gently.
Banter: Duo's here too?! This is getting tough to keep track of!
Cage charges at Drakus and bowls him off his feet as Elsie bounces up behind him, cheering him on. The two huge men brawl further down the corridor as JE throws himself on the prone form of Yu and the referee counts again...
One...
Two...
Three!!!
Tex: JE wins the belt back! How long can this chaos continue? This isn't even an official match!
Cain: And, more to the point, none of these people are going to be in any shape to have their actual match later tonight if this carries on much longer!
Banter: I guess Myra Tripp would win by default then? She's the only one of them not here...oh wait...spoke too soon...
A door opens behind Cage and Myra hurls herself out, landing on his back and wrapping her arms around his neck. Her small fists bash at his grey bulk, and Cage responds by slamming his body back against the wall, sandwiching her between his body and the brickwork.
Meanwhile, at the end of the corridor, Kermit helps JE up again, and the two of them make their escape, running away from the rest of the brawlers. Yu and Ai pick themselves up and lay chase. Drakus spies the fleeing champion and roars in fury, careering down the corridor after the other and Cage and Myra soon join him.
Banter: Where are they all going?
Tex: It looks like...oh! Here they come!
The view cuts to a shot of the entrance ramp as JE and Kermit tumble through the curtain. Immediately after come Yu and Ai, who assault them with a flurry of kicks and flips off the set. JE is sent rolling down the entrance ramp and comes to a bloody halt halfway down. Ai runs straight after him and leaps on top. The referee follows her down and begins to count...
One...
Two...
Three!!!
Cain: Now Ai is the champion!
Drakus, Cage (followed eventually by Elsie) and Myra all burst through the curtain next and fix their eyes on Ai, who is standing in the aisle with her newly won belt. She looks panicked for a second, but then Yu rushes up to her and the twins make their escape towards the ring.
Tex: Well...maybe we will have a match after all...
Myra quickly outpaces the larger men and catches up with Ai, clubbing her down from behind. She pulls her around and then grabs her, flexing back into a northern lights suplex. She holds the bridge...
Cain: The pin doesn't count! Ai isn't bleeding yet!
Myra lets her up, but then Yu catches her with a kick to the head. Out of nowhere, Drakus suddenly pushes past the brawling women and lifts Ai up into the air. With a low growl in his throat, he swings her around and sends her headfirst into the barrier that separates the crowd from the brawlers. There is a loud ooh as Ai rolls over, her face a bloody mess.
Banter: Now she is!
Tex: This brawl is getting a little tough to watch...
Drakus pulls Ai back onto the ramp and pins her...
One...
But Yu breaks it up straight away. Myra then grabs the Japanese woman by the hair and into an inverted-front facelock, flooring her with a brutal inverted DDT. Drakus spins around to confront the twin, but finds only Myra, who dropkicks him in the chest and causes him to fall right over, landing in a heap at the side of the ramp. She follows up by jumping right on top of Ai...
One...
Two...
Thr...suddenly, Kermit appears and breaks it up!
Tex: Kermit helped JE to win the Bleeder Title - but does he have designs on it himself?
He seems to consider it for a moment, and then lifts Ai up, turning around and hooking her arms before flipping her over and driving her head into the aisle with a vicious vertebreaker!
Cain: He calls that "The Lesson in Respect"! I don't think Ai will be getting up anytime soon!
Kermit rolls Ai over and pins her...
One...
Two...
Three!!!
Tex: Kermit is the champion now! He still hasn't been busted open though, so these guys are going to have a hard time pinning him for it!
Kermit groggily rises and just ducks a huge clothesline from Cage. The huge man turns around, just in time to receive a Kermit Kick to the jaw, apparently knocking him out cold.
Cain: Cage just got taken out by Kermit...they're falling thick and fast now!
Kermit looks around and sees his own partner JE moving towards him, as well as Yu, Myra and, for that matter, Elsie. He turns quickly this way and that, looking for an escape route. The only route open is to the ring, so he runs towards it and dives under the ropes, quickly followed by everyone left standing. The bell rings, surprising everyone.
Banter: Huh?
Tex: Well, checking my watch here, I think we've reached the scheduled time for the match that should have included all of these wrestlers here. I guess it's...uh...I guess it's about to get started...
None of the people standing in the ring look in any shape to fight. Yu and JE are both heavily bleeding while Kermit looks totally exhausted. Myra makes him her target, attacking him with heavy stomps with her Doc Martens. Kermit rolls away, holding his stomach as JE floors Myra with a clothesline.
Yu has now left the ring and is searching for a weapon. Eventually she comes up trumps with a steel chair and slides under the ropes.
Cain: Yu has found an equaliser - Kermit needs to watch out; if he starts bleeding, anyone can pin him and win that belt.
JE turns to face Yu, and catches a chair to the skull, knocking him out cold. Myra is next, receiving the same treatment. Finally, Kermit stumbles to his feet and gets a mouthful of chair, sending him tumbling over the ropes and down to the floor. Predictably, the attack opens up a cut on his head, and he has begun to bleed. Yu follows him out of the ring and pins him...
One...
Two...
Three!!!
Tex: Yu wins the Bleeder Title back!
The bleeding girl rolls back into the ring. The earlier joy she expressed at winning the belt is now gone, and she looks exhausted and hurt. In the ring, JE and Myra are out cold while, on the entrance ramp the trail of bleeding bodies looks like some scene from a war movie. Else is trying to bring Cage back to consciousness and the huge man groans softly, but bats her away.
Banter: Is it over?
Cain: Yu is the only one left standing, but I guess the match continues since there hasn't been a pin in the ring yet. I guess the referee will just count everyone out eventually though...
Yu catches sight of the bleeding Ai and rushes across the ring. She reaches the ropes, but suddenly her progress is stopped as her head meets a second steel chair held by Kermit!
Banter: Where did he come from?!
Tex: Apparently Yu didn't do as good a job of taking out Kermit as she thought!
Kermit, looking like he's about to keel over, rolls slowly into the ring and pins Yu...
One...
Two...
Three!!!
The bell rings, the match that never really started having now apparently finished and Sammy Eubanks lifts the microphone.
Sammy: Here is your winner and...uh...the new Bleeder Champion! KEEEEEEEERMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!
Kermit lifts his belt and looks at the broken bodies around him. With a haunted look, he pulls the title close to him and flees the scene, accosted by no one.
Tex: I guess Kermit is the winner of the match then and he's now the Bleeder Champion too!
Cain: Quite the turn up for the books...
The camera cuts to a view of the arena corridor, with it's broken walls. Kermit stumbles down, checking over his shoulder the whole way. He almost runs into TI and Shadow at the opposite end, but manages to dodge out of their way and head down a side corridor. Finally he reaches the parking lot and slaps his hand on the roof of a limo, pulling open the door and throwing himself in. With a screech of tires, the limo roars out of the parking lot and away.
Tex: Kermit makes his escape! I don't think we'll be seeing him again tonight!