<center><img src="http://www.twistedexperience.com/tcw/pics/posters/havocitaly/flehracceptable.png">


Non-Title Match
"On Friction Father Savage was misplaced and Dick Flehr was left with nothing to do but visit every ice cream shop in France, Barn was a happy man because it meant he could keep his friend out of harms way. The Comissioner figured she needed someone dependable someone who'll put in an acceptable performace against the Aftershock champion. Enter... some guy who'll probably do alright against Dick Flehr."</center>

Barn is lying in bed sleeping. The events from the night before are in no way keeping this senior citizen from catching his shut eye. He's obviously dreaming. Perhaps of a long lost love from his youth, or perhaps about his college days playing football. Eitherway, he peacefully in dreamland. Now there is this chasm between the land of dreams and the land of reality. For most, it takes a brief period to cross over to that section, unless you have something like this to wake you...

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Barn jumps up with a very scared look on his face.

Barn: DICK! YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH! WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!

Dick: Barn! Barn! Look, I'm sorry I scared you, but you remember when we met Blackjack Mulligan last night?

Barn: His name is Chuck Hagan, but ok.

Dick: Well, I have got to have a match with him! He tried to take my United States Heavyweight championship in 1978! Now he wants to show up here in WWF and take my WWF Title away from me? WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! THE SUPA NATCHA BOY AIN'T GONNA HAVE NONE OF THAT!

Barn obviously knows that Dick is out of his mind, but at this point, he doesn't seem to care so much, so for once, he decides to have a little fun with this.

Barn: Ok Dick, you want your match with Blackjack, fine. March your ass down to the ring and challenge him.

Dick: Fine! I'll do just that...

Flehr's Entrance Vid
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Flehr makes his way down to the ring and the fans just love this guys music... probably because they all like Rocky Road Ice Cream too. Either way, this hefty man manages to climb his way into the ring and more astonishingly, into the hearts of these fans.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Crowd: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Dick: LAST NIGHT! WRESTLEMANIA! SAVAGE DIDN'T WANT AAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYY OF THE SUPA NATCHA BOY DICK FLEHR! APPARENTLY HE WAS HIDING BEHIND ELIZABETH! AND I AM COMING FOR YOU ELIZABETH BABY, JUST YOU WAIT!

Crowd: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Dick: Damn right! Now! Last night! I see Blackjack Mulligan after all these years. BLACKJACK MULLIGAN! I STILL HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN WHAT YOU DID TO ME!

BNK: Blackjack Mulligan?

IC: Former NWA wrestler.

BNK: NWA was a rap group.

IC: Nevermind.

Dick: YOU WORE MY ROBE OUT TO THE RING THEN YOU RIPPED IT UP! SO THIS IS IT! WRESTLEMANIA! MADISON SQUARE GARDEN! IT WILL BE YOU AND ME! DICK FLEHR V BLACKJACK MULLIGAN 2!

IC: Folks, for those of you just joining us, apparently Dick has met a new comer named Chuck Hagan and the first thing our new rookie friend gets is an introduction to our resident Alzheimer patient.

BNK: It's pretty funny though.

IC: Never said it wasn't.

Dick: SO NOW! MULLIGAN! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE! NOW! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE IT OUT! ME AND YOU! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Dick begin waddling against the ropes and dropping his elbow. Then the music hits...

The Old Man Down the Road

Out comes Mr. Acceptible himself. He makes his way down to the ring, waving at the fans the whole time. He enters the ring with a microphone.

Chuck: Now I came out here to set some things straight. I don't know who you think you are, but you are NOT Ric Flair. I've wrestled him and this Blackjack guy you're referring to back in my mid south days. I've heard you want a match with me and I'm willing to oblige, but we're going to do this as professionals. I only dance when there is music and I only scratch when I got an itch. I will not get involved in your mental delusions. Next time I see you it will be in the ring to fight. Until then, just stay out of my way.

Hagan turns around, but Flehr catches him and turns him around.

Flehr: BLACKJACK! YOU WILL NOT TURN YOUR BACK ON ME! I'M THE 853 TIME WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP! YOU HAD BETTER START SHOWING ME SOME RESPECT OR I'LL BEAT IT INTO YOU! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Chuck back steps a little bit trying to get Flehr to calm down, but then Flehr WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE chops Hagan. Infuriated, Hagan then starts laying into Flehr with some Haymakers.

IC: Remind you of anything?

BNK: Not at all...

All of a sudden



IC: IT'S THE MASKED SUPERSTAR!

The Masked Superstar runs as fast as he can to the ring which isn't very fast considering how old he is and makes it to the ring.

IC: You know, this situation seems familiar...

BNK: No idea what you mean.

The Masked Superstar then pounces on Chuck Hagan and then Flehr tries to recooperate in the corner. Flehr finally manages to get his vertical base then he helps MS start stomping on Chuck. The crowd is a little perplexed at the behavior of Dick in this manner. The havoc continues as the cameras fade...

In his lockerroom, "Mr. Acceptable" Charles "Chuck" Hagan is recuperating from the earlier attack. His wrist is bandaged up, being kinda sore, but all in all, he's feeling pretty alright now.

Chuck pushes himself to his feet as someone enters the room.

"Come to finish the job yer friends started, huh?"

Barn is taken aback by Chuck's response -- it would be pretty slow to most, but to a man of Barn's age, Chuck is moving pretty quickly!

"No! It wasn't supposed to... You look really familiar. Have we met before?"

"Yeah, in the ring, right before yer buddies gave me a whuppin'!"

"No, I mean before before... Wait, did you play football for Ohio State??"

"No."

"Me either!"

There is a brief pause before both men's faces erupt (read: slowly creep) into smiles.

"Warmed the bench in '74!"

"'63 for me!"

Another pause before the men shake hands. The handshake evolves into a ridiculous-looking signal, the both of them shaking back and forth, leaning in and out, slapping either hand together, hitting butt-to-butt.

"Oh, my hip!!"

Barn hits the floor like a ton of bricks.

"Ah, it wasn't that hard! Sack up, '63!"

Helping Barn to his feet, Chuck recommends a half-decent coffee place he's visited down the road. They head off, Barn half-limping, holding his hip.

"'Sack up?' What the crazy..."



"So... fool thinks he's Ric Flair??" Chuck chuckles.

Barn puts his mug of average coffee back down on the table.

"Yeah, and he thinks I'm Arn Anderson! Can you believe that? Me!"

Both men let out a hearty laugh.

"Today, I just gave in and went with it. I didn't expect it to go quite so far..."

Chuck thinks to himself for a moment, and comes up with a decent idea.




IC: "Quite the houseshow tonight, Kate! We have Dick Flehr in the ring again, having just beaten Sidney Sneakers, and now an appearance by Mr. Acceptable on the big screen! Usually we're stuck talking about jobbers, like last night, when we had to suffer through Julio Sanchez taking on Stown! What a let down."

BNK: "Don't forget about my triumphant return to ringside, Cain!"

IC: "The smell won't let me. I believe Tex's exact phrasing was that he and Banter 'wouldn't touch this shit show with Paul Heyman's mic.'"

Chuck stands backstage, some red fabric draped over his shoulder.

"Now, ahem, Ric! I got somethin' to tell ya. You and your boys come out here and put the hurt on me earlier. Well that's just fine, that's how we play it. You and I, we're old boys, we know it's like that. But now, yer forcin' me into somethin'. My daddy always told me, don't poke a rattler if ya can't handle its bite, and Di-- Ric, I ain't sure if you're ready fer this rattler's bite."

Pulling the fabric off his shoulder, Chuck reveals it as Flehr's bathrobe. Chuck begins tearing pieces of it apart, little cotton balls fluffing through the air.

"Now does this look familiar, ya gutless little wonder?"

Chuck pulls the cotton belt off the robe and wraps it around the band of his cowboy hat, then walks off camera.

The scene inside the ring is desperate, as Flehr begins warbling around the ring, his face turning red, WHEEEEs flying through the air. He runs into the ropes, and the posts crumble towards each other, the rope slinking down to the floor. Flehr quickly wobbles to the middle of the ring, and drops a phantom elbow, before dislocating his shoulder.

Flehr is now writhing in the middle of the ring in an enormous amount of pain. The morbidly obese mental case is in throbbing pain. With each movement, a jarring pain racks his shoulder. Paramedics are now running down to the ring. It take 8, count them, 8 paramedics to move the behemoth onto the gurney and then, the gurney isn't made for this kind of man flesh. As they are rolling him to the entrance, the gurney caves to his weight and Dick falls to the metal and begins rolling down the ramp back to the ring. As he's rolling, screams of his agony can be heard all over the arena. The paramedics rush to try and stop him, but he hits the ring post head first and is now out cold. Dick has faded out of consciousness...

Dick is beginning to come around. He hears voices of Doctors asking for medical charts and the sound of a heart monitor. With great effort, he opens his eyes. In front of him is a TV. To the left of him are a couple of chairs and to his right, he sees Barn who apparently has drifted off to sleep. Dick goes to open his mouth, only to feel his lips are dry and crusted. He looks at his left arm and sees an IV. Dick clears his throat...

Dick: Barn? Barn?

Barn hears Dick calling for him and quickly awakens. He gets up and comes to the bed side of the supa natcha boy.

Barn: I'm here Dick.

Dick: Barn, My head hurts... really bad. So does my shoulder.

Barn: Doctors had to reset your shoulder. You dislocated it in the ring last night.

Dick thinks back to the night before and finally remembers.

Dick: Oh Yeah... That bastard ripped up my robe... wheeeeeee... Ow my head!

Barn: Easy buddy.

Dick: Barn, how did I hurt my head?

Barn then explains to Dick what happened afterwards. Apparently Dick did not remember this part.

Dick: No wonder I feel like crap. He's not playing fair Barn!

Barn: Dick, he didn't start this, you did.

Dick: but I have to get revenge on him! He's Blackjack Mulligan!

Barn: Dick, he is NOT Blackjack Mulligan.

Dick: Barn, what do you mean? He's Blackjack. You saw him? Didn't you?

Barn: ...

Dick: Barn?

Barn: Dick, the man you and the Masked Superstar, which by the way I have no earthly IDEA how you got to come out here, beat up a new comer to ECF. His name is Chuck Hagan.

Dick: Hagan?...

Dick: Yes. Chuck Hagan.

Dick gets that funny look on his face.

Barn: NO! DICK! SNAP OUT OF IT! NO! STOP IT!

Dick: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Dick begins ripping the IV out of his arm and trying to get out of bed.

Barn: NURSE! NURSE! WE NEED HELP IN HERE! SECURITY!

In rushes about 5 male nurses and a doctor. It takes all 5 of them to restrain Flehr. They hold him down as he's desparately trying to get away.

Nurse: WHAT'D YOU DO TO SET HIM OFF!

Barn step back as the doctor inject Dick with enough tranq to put out a horse. Which in Dick's case is barely enough.

Dick: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!.... Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee.... wheeeeee...

Doctor: 4... 3... 2... 1...

And Dick is out. The Doctor has to now reinject him with his IV and the male nurses secure Dick to the bed.

Nurse: Hey, you! What did you do?

Barn: Nothing! Absolutely nothing! He's crazy!

The male nurses and the Dr walk out. Barn has seen that look in Flehr's eyes 1000 times. He's concocted a new mental identity for Mr. Acceptable and unfortunately for Barn, he has an idea about who it is...

**Meanwhile**

Chuck is in his lockerroom. He looks at his hat and can't help but think how gay it makes it look. Oh well though right? He's gotten under Dick's skin. Mr. Acceptable decides it's time to go grab some grub. He walks out of his lockerroom. He makes his way through the halls and to the cafeteria. Around the same time, in walks Barn. It takes a few moments for Barn's eyes to adjust to the inside. Chuck notices Barn...

Chuck: Hey "Barn"!

Barn: Chuck? That you?

Chuck: Sure is.

Barn walks over to Chuck with a serious look on his face.

Chuck: What's the matter?

Barn: Apparently you didn't see what happened last night after you went off the tron.

Chuck: Well no, actually.

Barn then explains to Chuck everything that has happened to this point.

Chuck: Oh no... I really didn't mean for all this to happen. I was just getting a little payback is all. I feel bad now.

Barn: Don't concern yourself with that right now. I tried to explain to Dick that you aren't Blackjack. I told him your name and he got that look on his face... the look that says he's got a new identity for someone.

Chuck: Who does he think I am now?

Barn: Don't know for sure. Either way, I'll try and handle him. Please, for the good of all involved, let's not escalate this any further. We don't need all this.

Chuck: I'll lay low for now. Just watch out for your boy.

Chuck continues on and cameras fade.

"Sorry, pal, but 'laying low' ain't how we did it back in my day..." Chuck speaks softly to himself, as Barn heads on his way.

Chuck continues on down the hall until he finds the door he needs: Infinity. Creeking the door open, Chuck peeks inside. No one. He sneaks in, keeping the door open a crack in case anyone comes his way.

He digs through the room until he finds the bag he's looking for, the one with Highone's name on it. He unzips it quickly and begins rifling through it. He pulls out a pirate hat and a puzzled look crosses his face. He shrugs and tosses it back in. Finally, he pulls out what he was looking for: A long blonde wig. Tucking it under his hat, Mr. Acceptable hurries out of the room.


Meanwhile, Flehr is careening down the stairs, still laying in his hospital bed. Using his IV rack like an oar to push himself along, he's made a daring escape from his nurses, who he believes are, of course, trying to steal his blood.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Flehr hits the bottom with a thud and keeps on rolling. A pregnant woman screams, diving out of her wheelchair just in time. Nurses and doctors scatter, and fat rolls jiggle, as Flehr flies out the hospital doors... straight onto the freeway. Horns honk, brakes screech, cars swerve, fat men keep riding their hospital beds.



Back at the stadium, Chuck is in the ring, preparing for his next calling-out of Dick. A banadana is tied messy around his head, with the stolen wig hanging out, one chunk of hair pulled up under his nose and duct-taped in place.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Chuck spins around, his jaw dropping, as Flehr rides his hospital bed down the ramp towards the ring, Barn chasing him, huffing and puffing all the way.

Flehr crashing into the ring, the sound of metal-on-metal echoing throughout the arena. Flehr climbs up and into the ring... still climbing... trying to fit through the ropes... pushing a little harder... there we go!

Barn follows, trying to maintain the peace.

"Chuck, don't! He doesn't think you're who you think he thinks you are!"

...

"What?"

Chuck scratches his chin, Flehr gives a puzzled look, and Barn pokes his finger in the air, about to explain, but loses it again and gives up.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee said we know who you are, Hogan!"

"No, Dick, you're confused! ... More so than usual!"

Before Chuck has a chance to respond, Flehr starts up again.

"I could never forget my old nemesis... Hector Hogan!"

The crowd would gasp, if they were here yet.

Chuck pauses for a moment, utterly perplexed. Then he clotheslines Flehr to the mat.

Standing over Flehr, Chuck flexes his pythons.

"WHATJU GONNA DO, HOLMES, WHEN HISPANIMANIA RUNS WILD ON JU?!!?"